ALARMING NEWS: Election over too early, millions returning to polls.
In an astounding move, major news corporations have declared Barack H. Obama the Future Leader of the Free World. This took place around 11:10 pm Tuesday night.
Millions of Americans, many of whom had called in "sick" or had taken vacation days for Wednesday, Nov. 5th, have returned to voting locations to vote again. "I done called out for Wednesday," Buttstick, Mississippi voter Jimmy Bo Bob Dale Avery said. "Me an' my uncle wuz gunna sit up all night drinking, watchin' the election. Now what?" So, Mr. Avery did the logical thing and went back to his polling place to vote again.
"I just thought that maybe if I voted again, it would keep it on later," Mr. Avery added.